Oh, No!

That’s Lexie’s favorite line these days. She’ll throw her sippy cup to the floor from her high chair, look down at it surprised, and say, quite convincingly, “Oh, no!” She’ll be teetering around the house on unsteady legs and unexpectedly fall, look around, and say “Oh, no!” It’s very amusing because she says it with just the right amount of emotion, and it’s the first phrase that she’s used in the right context. You make a mistake, you say “Oh, no,” and when you get older, you replace no with other, uh, more colorful words.

My little gooseberry took off the first week in October, a little over a week after she turned 15 months (resting my fears that she wouldn't walk until she was 2). And since then, her independence, determination, and, dare I say, feistiness have taken off right behind her. My Alexandra is a willful little girl. She’ll wave away her sippy cup or snack like a disgruntled customer in a restaurant, then not even 5 minutes later is pointing at said sippy cup or snack to be handed to her. She’s already learning the art of the temper tantrum, and I expect some good ones in the next year or two. I’ve learned to pick my battles with her, and I’m not above bribing her to get what I want. A Fresh Beat Band episode often keeps her quiet enough so I can catch my breath and even comb her hair. A handful of Cheerios will hold her attention while I slip on her sneakers or look through the mail. If she wants to play with an empty paper towel tube or an old pan or a box--fine, and maybe I can get the chicken seasoned.

I’m still navigating the parenthood highway. I--now I realize unwisely--thought that once she started sleeping through the night that I would go back to getting 7 to 8 hours of sleep. But I use those hours when she’s sleep to get stuff done: take care of the house, work on my proofreading jobs, take care of me, and maybe squeeze in a TV show that’s not on Nick Jr. And weekends are no longer for lounging in bed. I'm usually up at 6 to get the day started before Lexie gets hers started. The waking hours still revolve around her.

I have amazing help in the form of my husband and stepdaughter. Hubby and I take turns putting Lexie down for the night, and he’s the main one who gets her ready in the morning in--incredibly--less than 10 minutes. I’m just at 10 minutes, which is much better than the 30 it used to take me to get her ready. My stepdaughter entertains her when I need a few moments to myself, crucial in those first few minutes when we come home. Try taking your boots off with a 1-year-old clinging to your leg.

Being a mom doesn’t come easy or natural to me. Children were never on my list of must haves, but being a mother has taught me that life is bigger than me and your heart can expand to love another person unconditionally, and even I can learn to put another person’s needs before my own. But it can be frustrating at times. Lexie marches to her own beat and is strong-willed and stubborn--just like her mama--and it’s led to some difficult moments while I struggled to remember that’s she’s just a baby and not maliciously making my life miserable.

But I’m a sucker for the smile that greets me in the morning, the happy dance for Cheerios, and the little feet that run away from me almost as much as they run toward me.