The Career

For good or bad, I've never put a lot of emphasis on having a career. I've been a senior production editor at a major publishing house in northern NJ for the past 11 years. My job is okay. It's led to an abundance of freelance work (I proofread for several major publishing houses) as I do jobs for former colleagues and they recommend me to their colleagues, and, well, it just mushrooms from there. As a person with a day job, there's only so much freelance work I can take, and now that I have a small child, I've had to scale back even more. Freelancing's always been a catch-22 with me. I've always wondered if I could make a decent living doing it full-time, but in order to know for sure, I'd have to do it full-time, and I'm afraid to take that plunge, especially now that I'm a homeowner and a mother. Taking those chances are cool in your twenties when you can bunk on your parents' couch for a few months when things don't work out and you need to plan your next move. They are not cool in your forties when you have bills . . . and dependents.

But like I said earlier, my job is okay, but after 11 years it's pretty monotonous and mundane, and I need a new challenge. I've looked for work both inside and outside the company off and on, the most recent being in 2008. I've reignited the search recently, solely inside the company this time (for several reasons leaving my company isn't a good option at this time). I applied for two jobs I saw on my company's internal job posting site. One was a no-go at the resume stage. But this morning, I had an interview for the second one.

I don't know. I'd like to be optimistic, but I was a little intimidated when the people (two gentlemen) outlined what the position would entail. I suppose once I was in it (if I got chosen, of course), it wouldn't be that daunting (my job might sound scary if I explained it to somebody, but truly it isn't). But as I was hearing it my mind started racing: "Do you really want to be doing that?" "Maybe you should just stay where you are now." But there's no growth if you don't stretch out of your comfort zone. You don't learn if you refuse to embrace new concepts and new ways of thinking and doing things. So I just have to shut off the part of my brain that's trying to convince me to stay put and continue to apply for jobs in different departments and divisions.